1
00:00:01,502 --> 00:00:03,671
Lady Luck
is on your side
from LA to Vegas.

2
00:00:03,704 --> 00:00:06,907
What, are you gonna put
a sock on the cockpit door?
Don't cockpit-block me.

3
00:00:06,940 --> 00:00:08,342
Catch all-new episodes Tuesdays.

4
00:00:08,376 --> 00:00:09,977
And check out
our other Fox programs,

5
00:00:10,010 --> 00:00:12,046
The Mick, The Last Man on Earth,

6
00:00:12,080 --> 00:00:13,247
and Brooklyn Nine-Nine.

7
00:00:13,281 --> 00:00:14,582
The kids are gonna love it.

8
00:00:14,615 --> 00:00:15,749
Only on Fox.

9
00:00:17,017 --> 00:00:19,487
-Uh-uh.

10
00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:21,722
-Uh-uh.

11
00:00:21,755 --> 00:00:23,991
-And this... Oh, yep. Okay.

12
00:00:24,024 --> 00:00:27,895
Yeah. You have a serious abscess
on tooth number 18.

13
00:00:27,928 --> 00:00:30,698
How long has it been
since you last saw the dentist?

14
00:00:30,731 --> 00:00:33,867
-Um... four.

15
00:00:35,035 --> 00:00:36,337
Years?

16
00:00:36,370 --> 00:00:37,838
It's hard to find the time.

17
00:00:37,871 --> 00:00:39,840
My job schedule
is so unpredictable.

18
00:00:39,873 --> 00:00:41,709
But my tooth
has been killing me lately,

19
00:00:41,742 --> 00:00:43,411
so my friend referred me here.

20
00:00:43,444 --> 00:00:44,512
Really?

21
00:00:44,545 --> 00:00:45,813
Your friend referred you here?

22
00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:50,184
Well, she said
you have great lollipops.

23
00:00:50,218 --> 00:00:52,753
You are in luck. You've got the
best dentist in our practice.

24
00:00:52,786 --> 00:00:56,257
He's brilliant and gentle
and handsome.

25
00:00:56,290 --> 00:00:58,659
God, what I would give
to have him in my mouth.

26
00:01:05,233 --> 00:01:07,935
Oh... weird.
That looks like a young...

27
00:01:07,968 --> 00:01:10,571
Ronnie!

28
00:01:10,604 --> 00:01:13,541
Nope.

29
00:01:13,574 --> 00:01:14,642
PILOT :
Jackpot Airlines.

30
00:01:14,675 --> 00:01:16,544
Northeast-bound to Las Vegas.

31
00:01:16,577 --> 00:01:19,547
*

32
00:01:27,087 --> 00:01:29,290
-Cheers!

33
00:01:29,323 --> 00:01:30,624
It's Ronnie!

34
00:01:30,658 --> 00:01:32,393
What happened the other day?

35
00:01:32,426 --> 00:01:33,894
Why did you run out on me?

36
00:01:33,927 --> 00:01:36,063
I'm sorry, Artem.
I was in shock.

37
00:01:36,096 --> 00:01:39,066
I had no idea that when you're
not gambling, you're a dentist.

38
00:01:39,099 --> 00:01:41,569
I just assumed you were
a guy who sold weird fruit

39
00:01:41,602 --> 00:01:43,404
out the back of a tire store.

40
00:01:43,437 --> 00:01:46,106
I'm sorry. Uh, did you say
Artem is a dentist?

41
00:01:46,140 --> 00:01:47,441
Yeah, pediatric dentist.

42
00:01:47,475 --> 00:01:48,776
Here's my card.

43
00:01:48,809 --> 00:01:50,110
Oh, the doll's head is there

44
00:01:50,144 --> 00:01:52,813
so you remember
I'm good with kids.

45
00:01:52,846 --> 00:01:55,283
Well, this will be hard
to ever, ever forget.

46
00:01:55,316 --> 00:01:57,084
So when are you gonna
reschedule?

47
00:01:57,117 --> 00:01:58,352
No need. It's all fixed now.

48
00:01:58,386 --> 00:01:59,487
Laughter and prayer.

49
00:01:59,520 --> 00:02:00,754
It turns out,
that's all you need.

50
00:02:00,788 --> 00:02:02,623
Well, that's good it's better,

51
00:02:02,656 --> 00:02:05,359
because if you still had
that abscess,

52
00:02:05,393 --> 00:02:08,929
flying now would be
excruciating.

53
00:02:08,962 --> 00:02:10,431
Uh... okay.

54
00:02:10,464 --> 00:02:12,266
E

55
00:02:12,300 --> 00:02:13,834
I'm asking for a friend.

56
00:02:13,867 --> 00:02:17,805
At higher altitudes,
trapped air in tooth expands

57
00:02:17,838 --> 00:02:21,275
against the nerve,
causing unbearable pain.

58
00:02:21,309 --> 00:02:23,777
And I don't know
why I'm telling you.

59
00:02:23,811 --> 00:02:25,646
-I should be telling this
to your friend.

60
00:02:27,648 --> 00:02:29,317
Are you this friend?

61
00:02:32,653 --> 00:02:34,188
Damn it, you're fast.

62
00:02:34,222 --> 00:02:35,856
I was captain of my high school
hand-slap team.

63
00:02:35,889 --> 00:02:37,024
No big deal.

64
00:02:37,057 --> 00:02:39,026
No, Alan, that is a big deal.

65
00:02:39,059 --> 00:02:41,028
I'm tired of you
selling yourself short.

66
00:02:43,331 --> 00:02:45,866
Hey. I had an idea.

67
00:02:45,899 --> 00:02:48,969
This flight, why don't
we keep our altitude, say,

68
00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:50,471
below 10,000 feet?

69
00:02:50,504 --> 00:02:52,906
Sorry, Ronnie. I don't tell
this old girl how high to fly.

70
00:02:52,940 --> 00:02:54,074
She tells me.

71
00:02:54,107 --> 00:02:55,476
That's not how it works at all.

72
00:02:55,509 --> 00:02:57,478
Alan, what did Dr. Becker say

73
00:02:57,511 --> 00:02:59,647
about contradicting me
in front of other people?

74
00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:01,148
It's like,
why do we go to therapy

75
00:03:01,181 --> 00:03:02,683
if you're not even gonna try?

76
00:03:09,690 --> 00:03:10,858
Beverage?

77
00:03:11,892 --> 00:03:13,160
Hello, Bernard.

78
00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:14,895
Captain Steve.

79
00:03:14,928 --> 00:03:15,996
Ow!

80
00:03:17,865 --> 00:03:19,500
Ah, what is your face made of?

81
00:03:19,533 --> 00:03:23,103
No, it's just "Steve" now,
ever since I got suspended

82
00:03:23,136 --> 00:03:24,672
for punching Captain Dave.

83
00:03:24,705 --> 00:03:25,839
I lost everything that day.

84
00:03:25,873 --> 00:03:28,942
My wife, my Miata, my mustache.

85
00:03:28,976 --> 00:03:30,344
I didn't deserve it anymore,

86
00:03:30,378 --> 00:03:32,012
so I shaved it off
and buried it in the backyard.

87
00:03:32,045 --> 00:03:33,180
Next to my dad.

88
00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:34,882
Oh, I'm sorry for your losses.

89
00:03:34,915 --> 00:03:36,517
So what are you doing here?

90
00:03:36,550 --> 00:03:38,786
I'm going to Jackpot HQ
to meet with the review board

91
00:03:38,819 --> 00:03:40,954
about getting reinstated
so I can get the life back

92
00:03:40,988 --> 00:03:42,523
that you all took from me.

93
00:03:42,556 --> 00:03:44,191
Well, we know you have
a choice of airlines

94
00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:45,959
when traveling to this or that
disciplinary hearing,

95
00:03:45,993 --> 00:03:48,396
so we thank you
for choosing Jackpot.

96
00:03:52,333 --> 00:03:54,101
Hey, that's weird.
Uh, what are you doing?

97
00:03:54,134 --> 00:03:57,070
Uh... I-I'm scanning my tooth
on the WebMD app.

98
00:03:57,104 --> 00:03:59,206
You're supposed to get
an instant diagnosis.

99
00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:03,110
And my tooth has...
Lou Gehrig's disease.

100
00:04:03,143 --> 00:04:05,546
Would it not be easier
just to go to the dentist

101
00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:06,614
every six months?

102
00:04:06,647 --> 00:04:08,549
What am I, the Queen of England?

103
00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:11,552
Every time I try to do something
for myself, something comes up.

104
00:04:11,585 --> 00:04:13,153
Like, I have to work
an extra turn

105
00:04:13,186 --> 00:04:14,822
or cover
for a sick flight attendant.

106
00:04:14,855 --> 00:04:16,223
Nichole gets it.

107
00:04:16,256 --> 00:04:17,791
We're both active professionals
on the go.

108
00:04:17,825 --> 00:04:19,493
We don't have time
for the dentist.

109
00:04:19,527 --> 00:04:21,595
Oh, no. I go to the dentist
every three months.

110
00:04:21,629 --> 00:04:23,063
Teeth are very important
to strippers.

111
00:04:23,096 --> 00:04:25,065
It's the first thing
customers notice.

112
00:04:25,098 --> 00:04:26,667
No. Breasts.

113
00:04:26,700 --> 00:04:28,068
It's breasts.

114
00:04:28,101 --> 00:04:29,503
Ronnie, we have a problem.

115
00:04:29,537 --> 00:04:31,605
Captain Steve is on the flight,
and he's very bitter.

116
00:04:31,639 --> 00:04:33,641
And not adorably bitter
like a late-in-life Lena Horne.

117
00:04:33,674 --> 00:04:35,909
Scary bitter
like a late-in-life Bette Davis.

118
00:04:35,943 --> 00:04:38,312
Love a reference from
this century once in a while.

119
00:04:38,346 --> 00:04:39,413
Hamilton.

120
00:04:39,447 --> 00:04:41,081
This is not good.
The last time

121
00:04:41,114 --> 00:04:42,850
Captain Steve and Captain Dave
were on a flight together,

122
00:04:42,883 --> 00:04:44,084
it did not end well.

123
00:04:44,117 --> 00:04:45,653
We can't let them anywhere
near each other.

124
00:04:45,686 --> 00:04:46,987
"We"? I've already done my part.

125
00:04:47,020 --> 00:04:48,356
I identified the problem,

126
00:04:48,389 --> 00:04:49,757
deflected it
with a withering bon mot,

127
00:04:49,790 --> 00:04:51,091
then kicked it over to you.

128
00:04:51,124 --> 00:04:54,595
O-Okay, just don't let Dave
anywhere near the cabin.

129
00:04:54,628 --> 00:04:55,863
I'll try, but...

130
00:04:55,896 --> 00:04:57,097
Oh, I'm sorry.

131
00:04:57,130 --> 00:04:59,900
This just feels
so good right now.

132
00:05:03,170 --> 00:05:05,005
Hey there, passengers.

133
00:05:05,038 --> 00:05:07,174
If you find yourself in Vegas
on a Friday night,

134
00:05:07,207 --> 00:05:11,178
why not celebrate the Sabbath
the way Captain Dave does?

135
00:05:11,211 --> 00:05:14,348
Praying the night away
at Temple Beth Vegas,

136
00:05:14,382 --> 00:05:16,850
where you'll find the best
all-you-can-eat Oneg,

137
00:05:16,884 --> 00:05:20,354
and the loosest slots
this side of Haifa.

138
00:05:20,388 --> 00:05:22,690
I'm gonna go do my rounds.

139
00:05:22,723 --> 00:05:25,493
Kiss some hands
and shake some babies.

140
00:05:27,060 --> 00:05:28,028
Oh, hey, Bernie.

141
00:05:28,061 --> 00:05:29,963
Hey.

142
00:05:29,997 --> 00:05:31,198
What...?

143
00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:33,701
Can I, uh... get through?

144
00:05:33,734 --> 00:05:36,470
Um... you know
what I just realized?

145
00:05:36,504 --> 00:05:38,539
You never told me
what it was like going vegan.

146
00:05:38,572 --> 00:05:41,174
Oh, I am so glad you asked.

147
00:05:41,208 --> 00:05:45,145
You see, Bern, if you stretch
the human digestive tract

148
00:05:45,178 --> 00:05:48,148
and lay it next to that
of a true omnivore,

149
00:05:48,181 --> 00:05:51,218
like a grizzly bear,
there's only one conclusion:

150
00:05:51,251 --> 00:05:53,621
we're herbivores, my friend.

151
00:05:54,588 --> 00:05:56,156
Can I get through?

152
00:05:56,189 --> 00:05:58,492
Sorry, we're going to be doing
beverage service indefinitely.

153
00:05:58,526 --> 00:06:01,695
Why don't you sit down and go
back to your... Doobie Brothers,

154
00:06:01,729 --> 00:06:02,863
or whatever?

155
00:06:02,896 --> 00:06:04,197
Doobie Brothers? Please.

156
00:06:04,231 --> 00:06:06,199
This Discman only plays Seger.

157
00:06:06,233 --> 00:06:10,003
Mainly 'cause it's been
stuck closed since 2004.

158
00:06:10,037 --> 00:06:11,371
GORDON:
Excuse me, miss.

159
00:06:11,405 --> 00:06:12,873
Could I get a diet soda?

160
00:06:12,906 --> 00:06:15,743
Uh-huh.

161
00:06:17,611 --> 00:06:19,880
This is all foam.

162
00:06:24,217 --> 00:06:26,454
Okay, you know what?

163
00:06:26,487 --> 00:06:27,855
Why don't you just take the can?

164
00:06:27,888 --> 00:06:30,591
Beverage service today
is if you're thirsty,

165
00:06:30,624 --> 00:06:32,359
you should've thought about that
at the airport,

166
00:06:32,392 --> 00:06:33,761
and gotten something then!

167
00:06:35,929 --> 00:06:38,231
Of course, after eight days
of no erections,

168
00:06:38,265 --> 00:06:40,468
I realized I needed
some red meat.

169
00:06:40,501 --> 00:06:42,470
So I'm back on steak.

170
00:06:42,503 --> 00:06:44,505
And now, I wait.

171
00:06:47,107 --> 00:06:48,709
-Oh, no.

172
00:06:48,742 --> 00:06:50,210
We have a Ronnie down!

173
00:06:50,243 --> 00:06:51,278
Make way, I'm a captain.

174
00:06:51,311 --> 00:06:52,345
Make way,
I'm a captain.

175
00:06:53,413 --> 00:06:55,382
Captain Steve.

176
00:06:55,415 --> 00:06:57,050
Captain Dave.

177
00:06:57,084 --> 00:06:58,151
I'm okay.

178
00:06:58,185 --> 00:07:00,187
Oh, crap.

179
00:07:04,525 --> 00:07:06,794
DAVE: What the hell
are you doing on my plane?

180
00:07:06,827 --> 00:07:07,961
It's not your plane.

181
00:07:07,995 --> 00:07:09,597
Your name isn't Dave Jackpot.

182
00:07:09,630 --> 00:07:10,998
It is on several
dating Web sites.

183
00:07:11,031 --> 00:07:12,165
You don't know.

184
00:07:12,199 --> 00:07:13,567
I know you ruined me the moment

185
00:07:13,601 --> 00:07:15,669
you ran your weird face
into my fist.

186
00:07:15,703 --> 00:07:17,004
You're lucky
that was a sucker punch.

187
00:07:17,037 --> 00:07:18,472
If it had been a real fight,
I would've given you

188
00:07:18,506 --> 00:07:20,107
a one-way ticket to Pain Island.

189
00:07:20,140 --> 00:07:21,742
Population: you.

190
00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:23,677
I'm standing right here.
Now's your chance.

191
00:07:23,711 --> 00:07:25,178
No, I'm on duty.
Unlike some people,

192
00:07:25,212 --> 00:07:26,614
I don't fight my passengers.

193
00:07:26,647 --> 00:07:27,915
That's fine.
I can wait till we land.

194
00:07:27,948 --> 00:07:28,982
How long's your turnaround?

195
00:07:29,016 --> 00:07:30,150
-An hour.
-Perfect.

196
00:07:30,183 --> 00:07:31,351
Gives me a half hour to warm up,

197
00:07:31,384 --> 00:07:32,520
ten minutes to kick your ass

198
00:07:32,553 --> 00:07:34,488
and 20 minutes
to high-five all my fans.

199
00:07:34,522 --> 00:07:36,590
That is, of course,
unless you're scared.

200
00:07:36,624 --> 00:07:39,627
The only thing I'm scared of
is your naked under-nose.

201
00:07:39,660 --> 00:07:42,596
Have some respect,
and cover that thing up.

202
00:07:42,630 --> 00:07:44,131
-It's on.
-Oh, it's on.

203
00:07:44,164 --> 00:07:46,033
Lost luggage room, 3:00 p.m.

204
00:07:46,066 --> 00:07:47,968
Barring any weather delays.

205
00:07:48,001 --> 00:07:49,369
Oh, of course.

206
00:07:49,402 --> 00:07:51,004
-About 20 knots.

207
00:07:51,038 --> 00:07:52,039
That's not so bad.

208
00:07:52,072 --> 00:07:53,674
We could maybe push it to 2:50.

209
00:07:53,707 --> 00:07:55,543
The way I fly, make it 2:45.

210
00:07:55,576 --> 00:07:58,078
:
This is so dumb.

211
00:08:04,084 --> 00:08:07,555
Oh, no, this is worse
than I suspected.

212
00:08:07,588 --> 00:08:09,156
Your mouth looks exactly how

213
00:08:09,189 --> 00:08:10,791
other people are sure
my mouth looks.

214
00:08:10,824 --> 00:08:12,826
Artem, you have to help me.

215
00:08:12,860 --> 00:08:14,828
I cannot take
another flight like this,

216
00:08:14,862 --> 00:08:16,296
and my turn is in an hour.

217
00:08:16,329 --> 00:08:17,565
Is there anything you can do?

218
00:08:17,598 --> 00:08:20,568
Ronnie always help Artem
on the plane,

219
00:08:20,601 --> 00:08:23,236
so it would be an honor
to help you here on the ground.

220
00:08:23,270 --> 00:08:25,706
Ronnie. What are you gonna do
about this Steve

221
00:08:25,739 --> 00:08:26,874
We can't actually
let them fight.

222
00:08:26,907 --> 00:08:28,508
I have my own problems, Bernard.

223
00:08:28,542 --> 00:08:30,343
I have to get this tooth fixed
before our next flight.

224
00:08:30,377 --> 00:08:31,478
I don't have time to worry about

225
00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:32,846
what those two dummies
are doing.

226
00:08:32,880 --> 00:08:34,715
Forget them. I'm the dummy
I'm worried about.

227
00:08:34,748 --> 00:08:36,984
This fight could delay
our turn back to L.A.

228
00:08:37,017 --> 00:08:38,418
And I have a date
at Musso and Frank's

229
00:08:38,451 --> 00:08:40,320
with a married Swede
I met in a chat room.

230
00:08:40,353 --> 00:08:42,389
I'm sorry,
but I cannot always be fixing

231
00:08:42,422 --> 00:08:44,257
everybody else's stuff.

232
00:08:44,291 --> 00:08:46,760
If you want to stop the fight,
be my guest and stop the fight.

233
00:08:46,794 --> 00:08:48,428
Let's go, Artem.

234
00:08:48,461 --> 00:08:50,731
No, o-oh, just a moment,
I have to give Nichole

235
00:08:50,764 --> 00:08:54,467
my secret recipe for... queso.

236
00:08:55,869 --> 00:08:57,170
'Kay, so, there's gonna be

237
00:08:57,204 --> 00:08:58,872
a lot of action
on this pilot fight.

238
00:08:58,906 --> 00:09:00,240


239
00:09:00,273 --> 00:09:02,275
I have no time for bets,

240
00:09:02,309 --> 00:09:05,112
but as my protégé,
you are in charge.

241
00:09:05,145 --> 00:09:06,680
Artem, I'm so honored.

242
00:09:06,714 --> 00:09:08,015
Wait.

243
00:09:08,048 --> 00:09:09,583
We're gonna be splitting
that money 50

244
00:09:09,617 --> 00:09:10,851
Because I'm gonna need cash

245
00:09:10,884 --> 00:09:12,686
if I'm gonna start buying
freshwater lakes.

246
00:09:12,720 --> 00:09:14,354
It's what the wars of the future
will be fought over.

247
00:09:14,387 --> 00:09:15,522
Of course.

248
00:09:15,555 --> 00:09:17,124
We're equal partners.

249
00:09:17,157 --> 00:09:19,026
Hey, I have a strong feeling

250
00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:21,528
that Captain Dave
will win this fight.

251
00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:24,865
He has this sad rage in him.

252
00:09:24,898 --> 00:09:26,967
That means you have to encourage

253
00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:29,703
hefty bets on Captain Steve.

254
00:09:29,737 --> 00:09:30,804
You can count on me.

255
00:09:30,838 --> 00:09:32,439
-I know I can.

256
00:09:32,472 --> 00:09:35,976
That's why the little black book
is yours.

257
00:09:36,009 --> 00:09:37,310
Wow.

258
00:09:38,345 --> 00:09:40,480
Steffi Graf,
Angela Merkel, Sade?

259
00:09:40,513 --> 00:09:42,716
I'm sorry, that's the wrong
little black book.

260
00:09:42,750 --> 00:09:43,884
Here.

261
00:09:43,917 --> 00:09:45,919
Oh.

262
00:09:47,287 --> 00:09:48,421
BERNARD:
Dave?

263
00:09:48,455 --> 00:09:49,556
-You and I need to talk.
-We do.

264
00:09:49,589 --> 00:09:50,824
Which of these do you like?

265
00:09:50,858 --> 00:09:52,125
I'm looking
for something intimidating

266
00:09:52,159 --> 00:09:54,161
that breathes,
and doesn't skimp on style.

267
00:09:54,194 --> 00:09:55,428
You don't have to do this.

268
00:09:55,462 --> 00:09:56,496
You're the guy
who's still flying.

269
00:09:56,529 --> 00:09:57,831
You already won.

270
00:09:57,865 --> 00:09:59,332
And I'll be the real winner
when I'm sharing

271
00:09:59,366 --> 00:10:02,169
a shrimp cocktail with
my Swedish orthopedist Bjorn.

272
00:10:02,202 --> 00:10:03,336
The "J" is silent.

273
00:10:03,370 --> 00:10:04,838
Just like his love for me.

274
00:10:04,872 --> 00:10:06,239
Look, I have to fight Steve.

275
00:10:06,273 --> 00:10:08,008
My honor is at stake here.

276
00:10:08,041 --> 00:10:09,509
Like when I was a teenager,
my dad was gonna buy

277
00:10:09,542 --> 00:10:11,244
that ski resort
to turn into condos,

278
00:10:11,278 --> 00:10:13,246
until a scrappy ski instructor
beat me in that race

279
00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:14,682
down Devil's Backbone.

280
00:10:14,715 --> 00:10:16,449
So you were the villain
in an '80s ski movie?

281
00:10:16,483 --> 00:10:17,751
No, I was the good guy.

282
00:10:17,785 --> 00:10:19,753
Those condos would've been
state-of-the-art.

283
00:10:19,787 --> 00:10:21,588
Look, everyone that works
in this airport

284
00:10:21,621 --> 00:10:23,090
knows that Steve challenged me.

285
00:10:23,123 --> 00:10:24,958
If I back out now,
I'll lose their respect

286
00:10:24,992 --> 00:10:26,827
and maybe never get it back.

287
00:10:26,860 --> 00:10:28,195
I can't let them see me
as a coward.

288
00:10:28,228 --> 00:10:29,596
Colin, will you please
talk some sense

289
00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:31,699
and tell Dave this fight
won't solve anything?

290
00:10:31,732 --> 00:10:34,034
Well, actually,
it may solve quite a lot.

291
00:10:34,067 --> 00:10:36,036
As a university-trained boxer,

292
00:10:36,069 --> 00:10:38,338
I believe that physical
confrontation is an effective

293
00:10:38,371 --> 00:10:41,374
and downright zesty means
of conflict resolution.

294
00:10:41,408 --> 00:10:42,676
You know, I have some time

295
00:10:42,710 --> 00:10:44,144
before I pick my son up
from school.

296
00:10:44,177 --> 00:10:45,278
Maybe we could train together?

297
00:10:45,312 --> 00:10:46,313
I'll show you some tips.

298
00:10:46,346 --> 00:10:47,314
Let's do it then.

299
00:10:47,347 --> 00:10:49,349
Donna, put this on my tab.

300
00:10:51,752 --> 00:10:54,387
And here you stand, Bernard,
forsaken and alone.

301
00:10:54,421 --> 00:10:56,223
Like a young Hedy Lamarr's
Joan of Arc.

302
00:10:56,256 --> 00:10:58,892
With no around to tell you
they don't get that reference.

303
00:10:58,926 --> 00:11:01,494
All right, we don't have time to
go to a real dentist's office,

304
00:11:01,528 --> 00:11:03,163
so hopefully this place will
have to work.

305
00:11:03,196 --> 00:11:05,665
Oh, this is like a little
airport hospital.

306
00:11:05,699 --> 00:11:08,335
Is this where sick airplanes go?

307
00:11:08,368 --> 00:11:10,738
This is the Vegas airport
medical office.

308
00:11:10,771 --> 00:11:14,041
It's mainly used for hangovers,
stripper-heel ankle sprains,

309
00:11:14,074 --> 00:11:16,576
and people still tripping
from last night's EDM show.

310
00:11:16,609 --> 00:11:19,179
I need to lick something
or else I'll die.

311
00:11:19,212 --> 00:11:21,715
I just don't know if they have
any dentist stuff here.

312
00:11:21,749 --> 00:11:24,417
Don't worry, I got my own
dental emergency kit.

313
00:11:24,451 --> 00:11:28,221
I have some fun pokey things,
and some fun scrape-y things...

314
00:11:28,255 --> 00:11:31,091
Whatever. Just use all of it.
You have half an hour,

315
00:11:31,124 --> 00:11:32,926
so start scraping
and start poking.

316
00:11:32,960 --> 00:11:36,363
Okay, listen, one important
question before we start.

317
00:11:36,396 --> 00:11:39,833
Which tablet would you like
to use for cartoons?

318
00:11:39,867 --> 00:11:41,368
The panda or penguin?

319
00:11:41,401 --> 00:11:44,271
Artem, I'm not a child.
Penguin.

320
00:11:44,304 --> 00:11:45,638
Good choice.

321
00:11:50,643 --> 00:11:53,013
Okay, David, we are gonna start
with a simple combination.

322
00:11:53,046 --> 00:11:54,915
Jab, cross, then you slip
when I counter.

323
00:11:56,416 --> 00:11:58,385
Ow. That's not cool.

324
00:11:58,418 --> 00:11:59,787
That's okay. We'll go again.

325
00:11:59,820 --> 00:12:01,789
Remember to dodge
when I counter.

326
00:12:01,822 --> 00:12:04,124
-You don't have to tell me
twice. -Okay.

327
00:12:04,992 --> 00:12:06,059
Try again.

328
00:12:08,829 --> 00:12:10,898
Why don't you use your martial
arts training for this fight?

329
00:12:10,931 --> 00:12:13,901
Oh, I would never.
Muay Thai is a sacred discipline

330
00:12:13,934 --> 00:12:15,735
whose purpose is
the enrichment of the soul.

331
00:12:15,769 --> 00:12:17,304
And besides, they moved
my book club to Tuesday nights,

332
00:12:17,337 --> 00:12:18,806
so I had to make some
hard choices.

333
00:12:18,839 --> 00:12:19,973
Yeah, schedules can be
difficult.

334
00:12:20,007 --> 00:12:21,141
That's fine, we'll go again.

335
00:12:21,174 --> 00:12:22,876
Okay. Jab, cross, slip.

336
00:12:22,910 --> 00:12:24,778
Just... slip means
get out of the way.

337
00:12:24,812 --> 00:12:28,148
So, again, that's jab, cross,
get out of the way.

338
00:12:30,283 --> 00:12:31,985
Damn it.
This would be easier if I knew

339
00:12:32,019 --> 00:12:33,286
which hand you were
punching with.

340
00:12:33,320 --> 00:12:35,322
Just tell me, right or left,
and then I'll move.

341
00:12:35,355 --> 00:12:37,925
Steve's not gonna announce which
hand he's gonna punch you with.

342
00:12:37,958 --> 00:12:40,260
He will, if we make it a rule.
Like in pool.

343
00:12:40,293 --> 00:12:41,995
You call the pocket first.
Eight ball, corner pocket.

344
00:12:42,029 --> 00:12:43,663
Same thing:
left hand, your face.

345
00:12:43,696 --> 00:12:45,765
-Oh, God this is gonna be harder
than I thought. -Oh.

346
00:12:45,799 --> 00:12:47,734
Come on, man,
I was wiping my brow.

347
00:12:47,767 --> 00:12:50,103
Then do my rule-- call out
"left hand, wiping brow."

348
00:12:50,137 --> 00:12:52,772
Wait, so Captain Steve and
Captain Dave are gonna fight?

349
00:12:52,806 --> 00:12:55,843
Oh, yeah. We're calling it
"Pilot Pummel I: The Rematch."

350
00:12:55,876 --> 00:12:58,345
Ten to one Dave wins
in a knockout. Are you in?

351
00:12:58,378 --> 00:13:00,914
Hell yeah. With those odds,
put me down for $50 on Steve.

352
00:13:00,948 --> 00:13:04,517
Just $50? Come on.
If you put in $250,

353
00:13:04,551 --> 00:13:06,086
I'll make one of those
whisper videos

354
00:13:06,119 --> 00:13:09,022
where I talk real quiet
while I fold a napkin.

355
00:13:09,056 --> 00:13:10,924
-Deal.

356
00:13:10,958 --> 00:13:13,827
$250 on Steve.

357
00:13:13,861 --> 00:13:15,728
$100 on Steve.

358
00:13:20,667 --> 00:13:22,802
$500 on Steve.

359
00:13:24,872 --> 00:13:27,074
:

360
00:13:31,544 --> 00:13:34,581
*

361
00:13:39,086 --> 00:13:42,389
$1,500 on Steve...
and Dave falling in love?

362
00:13:42,422 --> 00:13:44,524
I'm a romantic.

363
00:13:46,326 --> 00:13:47,494
Steve, listen...

364
00:13:47,527 --> 00:13:49,529
*

365
00:13:52,599 --> 00:13:55,903
Happy birthday, Mr. President.

366
00:13:55,936 --> 00:13:58,071
Listen, you, I'm calling off
this fight.

367
00:13:58,105 --> 00:13:59,806
Stay out of this, Bernard.

368
00:13:59,839 --> 00:14:00,908
Say my name again.

369
00:14:00,941 --> 00:14:03,043
No! This is crazy.

370
00:14:03,076 --> 00:14:04,411
You are two grown men.

371
00:14:04,444 --> 00:14:05,913
You shouldn't be settling
your differences

372
00:14:05,946 --> 00:14:07,580
in a lost luggage room
in the middle of the day.

373
00:14:07,614 --> 00:14:10,250
You're not fighting.
Now, say my name again.

374
00:14:10,283 --> 00:14:12,719
This is happening. There's
nothing you can do to stop it.

375
00:14:12,752 --> 00:14:14,254
You just got caught up
in the moment.

376
00:14:14,287 --> 00:14:16,089
Take a step back
and think about this.

377
00:14:16,123 --> 00:14:18,091
Think about this?
Please.

378
00:14:18,125 --> 00:14:20,760
That's all I've thought about
for months.

379
00:14:20,793 --> 00:14:22,896
I'm not meeting
with the Jackpot Review Board.

380
00:14:22,930 --> 00:14:25,198
The only reason
I was on that plane

381
00:14:25,232 --> 00:14:26,666
was to get Dave to fight me.

382
00:14:26,699 --> 00:14:29,369
I've spent every day
since that flight

383
00:14:29,402 --> 00:14:32,205
waiting, watching, training.

384
00:14:33,907 --> 00:14:35,442
White lightning.

385
00:14:35,475 --> 00:14:37,510
That's right, Bernard.

386
00:14:37,544 --> 00:14:38,946
This isn't gonna be a fight.

387
00:14:40,780 --> 00:14:42,882
It's gonna be a massacre.

388
00:14:52,725 --> 00:14:54,861
Okay, Ronnie, so I cemented

389
00:14:54,894 --> 00:14:57,197
the temporary cap
to your molar.

390
00:14:57,230 --> 00:14:59,799
I want you to bite down
on this cotton roll

391
00:14:59,832 --> 00:15:01,868
until the cement is dry, okay?

392
00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:03,070
Uh-huh.

393
00:15:03,103 --> 00:15:04,972
Ronnie. Problem.

394
00:15:05,005 --> 00:15:06,639
This pilot fight is getting
out of hand.

395
00:15:06,673 --> 00:15:08,075
Steve is gonna murder Dave.

396
00:15:08,108 --> 00:15:09,709
:
What are you talking about?

397
00:15:09,742 --> 00:15:12,412
I saw him warming up.
He's so powerful and raw.

398
00:15:12,445 --> 00:15:14,714
In my Revenant fantasy, he'll
now be starring as the bear.

399
00:15:14,747 --> 00:15:16,583
Hey. Captain Steve is gonna win?

400
00:15:16,616 --> 00:15:19,586
Yes. I need you.
This is not my department.

401
00:15:19,619 --> 00:15:21,754
This is like sporting goods,
and I'm men's fragrances.

402
00:15:21,788 --> 00:15:23,756
Oh, ah. If Dave is really
in trouble...

403
00:15:23,790 --> 00:15:26,826
-No-no-no, you're not going
nowhere. Open mouth. -Ah.

404
00:15:26,859 --> 00:15:29,429
Close it.
Today, you have to be patient.

405
00:15:29,462 --> 00:15:31,731
Both as a noun and adjective.

406
00:15:31,764 --> 00:15:32,932
-But I have...
-No buts!

407
00:15:32,966 --> 00:15:34,167
Dr. Artem's order.

408
00:15:34,201 --> 00:15:36,336
You have to wait here until
the cement is dry.

409
00:15:36,369 --> 00:15:39,106
It's gonna be, like, 20 minutes.
No moving, no talking.

410
00:15:39,139 --> 00:15:41,274
-I'll fix it.

411
00:15:41,308 --> 00:15:42,909
Okay, Captain Steve is
gonna win,

412
00:15:42,942 --> 00:15:45,345
so we have to change
the betting line immediately.

413
00:15:45,378 --> 00:15:46,913
This was your plan to handle it?

414
00:15:46,946 --> 00:15:49,582
Yes, because Nichole and I were
gonna lose money.

415
00:15:49,616 --> 00:15:50,984
Wasn't that everybody's concern?

416
00:15:51,018 --> 00:15:53,153
Artem, I've already taken

417
00:15:53,186 --> 00:15:55,522
thousands of dollars
of bets on Steve.

418
00:15:55,555 --> 00:15:58,291
Thousands? Oh, we have to
stop this fight.

419
00:15:58,325 --> 00:16:01,361
Bitch, I've been saying that
for the last half hour.

420
00:16:05,398 --> 00:16:07,834
So, what do you think?
Not too bad, huh?

421
00:16:07,867 --> 00:16:09,169
Well, you stopped
yelling "punch"

422
00:16:09,202 --> 00:16:12,439
every time you threw a punch,
so that's progress.

423
00:16:12,472 --> 00:16:13,540
Why don't we take a short break?

424
00:16:13,573 --> 00:16:15,442
-Okay, you catch your breath.
-Ah.

425
00:16:15,475 --> 00:16:16,676
Maybe put your affairs in order,

426
00:16:16,709 --> 00:16:17,810
and we'll meet back here
in five.

427
00:16:17,844 --> 00:16:19,479
How's that, champ?

428
00:16:21,814 --> 00:16:23,316
Punch, punch!

429
00:16:23,350 --> 00:16:25,618
-Ah! I'm doing it again.

430
00:16:25,652 --> 00:16:27,387
Quick update:
get here immediately.

431
00:16:27,420 --> 00:16:29,622
Is this about the fight? Artem
and Bernard are handling it.

432
00:16:29,656 --> 00:16:31,124
Right, nobody
is handling anything.

433
00:16:31,158 --> 00:16:32,992
Do you know how I know?
Because right now,

434
00:16:33,026 --> 00:16:34,961
I am watching Steve
walk into this room.

435
00:16:34,994 --> 00:16:36,396
RONNIE:
I am not supposed to move.

436
00:16:36,429 --> 00:16:37,997
I shouldn't even be talking.

437
00:16:38,031 --> 00:16:39,866
Look, Ronnie, I know
you don't want this role,

438
00:16:39,899 --> 00:16:41,734
but you are quite possibly
the only person

439
00:16:41,768 --> 00:16:43,303
in this entire airport

440
00:16:43,336 --> 00:16:45,538
capable of stopping
an imminent calamity.

441
00:16:45,572 --> 00:16:47,074
We need you.

442
00:16:47,107 --> 00:16:49,409
-Punch, punch! Whoo!

443
00:16:52,212 --> 00:16:54,314
So what are you saying?
He punched a wall?

444
00:16:54,347 --> 00:16:56,049
Big deal. I've punched
hundreds of them.

445
00:16:56,083 --> 00:16:58,851
Besides, Colin's been
training me. I'm good.

446
00:16:58,885 --> 00:17:01,088
No, you're quite literally
the worst boxer I've ever seen.

447
00:17:01,121 --> 00:17:02,222
You should walk away now,

448
00:17:02,255 --> 00:17:03,390
while you still
have the use of your legs.

449
00:17:03,423 --> 00:17:04,591
Yeah, you might die.

450
00:17:04,624 --> 00:17:06,326
Why the hell didn't you tell me
all this sooner?

451
00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:07,560
I can't back down now.

452
00:17:07,594 --> 00:17:08,861
Look at all these people
watching.

453
00:17:08,895 --> 00:17:10,430
I'll lose their respect forever.

454
00:17:10,463 --> 00:17:12,565
There is another way.
You could fight dirty.

455
00:17:12,599 --> 00:17:14,901
It's cheap and you'd have to
completely abandon your dignity.

456
00:17:14,934 --> 00:17:16,203
Great, let's do that then.

457
00:17:16,236 --> 00:17:18,738
So, stick to biting,
pulling hair,

458
00:17:18,771 --> 00:17:22,442
and if in doubt,
you throw sand in his face.

459
00:17:22,475 --> 00:17:24,411
Wait, you carry sand around
in your pocket?

460
00:17:24,444 --> 00:17:26,379
Yeah, it's a good thing
I do, right?

461
00:17:26,413 --> 00:17:28,348
You ready to rumble,
you son of a bitch?

462
00:17:28,381 --> 00:17:29,782
MAN:
Oh, did you hear that?

463
00:17:29,816 --> 00:17:32,285
-Go get 'em.

464
00:17:32,319 --> 00:17:34,721
-Okay.
-Yeah.

465
00:17:41,428 --> 00:17:43,430
-WOMAN: Come on, Dave!

466
00:17:45,064 --> 00:17:47,600
I've been dreaming about kicking
your ass for a long time, Dave.

467
00:17:47,634 --> 00:17:50,603
Well, that's not gonna happen,
so keep dreaming, Pam Ewing!

468
00:17:50,637 --> 00:17:52,439
-From Dallas.

469
00:17:52,472 --> 00:17:54,307
All of season nine
was Pam Ewing's dream.

470
00:17:54,341 --> 00:17:55,542
You never watched Dallas?

471
00:17:55,575 --> 00:17:58,044
I believe it's pronounced
"Da-yas."

472
00:17:58,077 --> 00:18:00,247
Say good night, Steve!

473
00:18:00,280 --> 00:18:03,150
Stop! That is enough.

474
00:18:03,183 --> 00:18:04,984
What the hell are you two doing?

475
00:18:05,017 --> 00:18:06,419
You're acting like children.

476
00:18:06,453 --> 00:18:08,488
Show me one child
with a mustache like this.

477
00:18:08,521 --> 00:18:09,956
Foreigners don't count.

478
00:18:09,989 --> 00:18:11,658
Oh, if you two idiots
could forget about

479
00:18:11,691 --> 00:18:13,726
this stupid grudge
for one minute,

480
00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:15,928
I bet you'd realize
you have a lot in common.

481
00:18:15,962 --> 00:18:18,265
Like what?

482
00:18:18,298 --> 00:18:20,767
Uh... well, um...

483
00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:23,270
Oh, Seger!

484
00:18:23,303 --> 00:18:26,173
You like Bob Seger.
So does Dave.

485
00:18:26,206 --> 00:18:28,007
I don't like Bob Seger.

486
00:18:28,040 --> 00:18:30,443
I love Bob Seger.

487
00:18:30,477 --> 00:18:34,147
Uh...

488
00:18:34,181 --> 00:18:35,182
Steve drives a Miata!

489
00:18:35,215 --> 00:18:38,751
Oh! You both love cars
marketed to women.

490
00:18:38,785 --> 00:18:41,588
What's wrong with a sporty car
that's tight around corners?

491
00:18:41,621 --> 00:18:43,990
My Pontiac Sunfire
used to have 'em screaming.

492
00:18:44,023 --> 00:18:45,525
Just ask my ex, Keisha.

493
00:18:45,558 --> 00:18:48,295
I dated a Keisha.
Distefano? -Berardi.

494
00:18:48,328 --> 00:18:50,663
BOTH:
Both Italian.

495
00:18:50,697 --> 00:18:53,933
Now do you see
what I'm talking about?

496
00:18:56,169 --> 00:18:59,539
This might be weird,
but do you also, um,

497
00:18:59,572 --> 00:19:00,873
sometimes feel like the sky

498
00:19:00,907 --> 00:19:02,342
is the only one
that understands you?

499
00:19:02,375 --> 00:19:04,377
Sometimes?

500
00:19:04,411 --> 00:19:06,346
Try all the time.

501
00:19:06,379 --> 00:19:08,215
My God.

502
00:19:08,248 --> 00:19:10,450
We're like the same person.

503
00:19:10,483 --> 00:19:12,819
You see? You were both
about to beat up

504
00:19:12,852 --> 00:19:15,655
the only other person
in the world who truly gets you.

505
00:19:15,688 --> 00:19:17,190
Friends?

506
00:19:17,224 --> 00:19:19,526
Brothers.

507
00:19:23,363 --> 00:19:25,898
Oh, my God, people.
Get a life!

508
00:19:25,932 --> 00:19:27,600
Fight already!

509
00:19:29,001 --> 00:19:31,238
MAN:
Oh!

510
00:19:31,271 --> 00:19:33,306
(indistinct announcement
on P.A.)

511
00:19:33,340 --> 00:19:36,743
Hey, champ.
How's the tooth?

512
00:19:36,776 --> 00:19:40,012
Oh... Artem has to redo
the whole thing.

513
00:19:40,046 --> 00:19:42,715
But luckily, the luggage
knocked out another tooth,

514
00:19:42,749 --> 00:19:44,984
-and that hurts a lot more.
-Well, even though

515
00:19:45,017 --> 00:19:46,185
it cost you a pair of teeth,

516
00:19:46,219 --> 00:19:47,820
at least you can feel good
knowing that,

517
00:19:47,854 --> 00:19:49,889
-yet again, you saved the day.
-Yeah.

518
00:19:49,922 --> 00:19:51,724
At least being the person
who fixes

519
00:19:51,758 --> 00:19:54,361
other people's screwups makes
my life seem less like a mess.

520
00:19:54,394 --> 00:19:56,696
Well, you're in luck,
because none of us

521
00:19:56,729 --> 00:19:59,966
are in any danger of getting
our acts together... ever.

522
00:20:01,033 --> 00:20:02,535
Hey, guys.

523
00:20:02,569 --> 00:20:04,003
You two must be happy.

524
00:20:04,036 --> 00:20:06,038
You narrowly avoided losing
heaps of money.

525
00:20:06,072 --> 00:20:09,776
Mm-mm. We lost a bundle.
To Alan.

526
00:20:09,809 --> 00:20:11,210
But the fight didn't
even happen.

527
00:20:11,244 --> 00:20:14,247
-Right. Because Steve and Dave
fell in love. -Mm.

528
00:20:14,281 --> 00:20:16,383
Ronnie, will you hold
this money for me?

529
00:20:16,416 --> 00:20:18,285
Otherwise, it'll go
right up my nose.

530
00:20:24,757 --> 00:20:28,227
I can't thank you enough for
helping me earn back my wings.

531
00:20:28,261 --> 00:20:30,963
Hey, we're brothers,
and I told those Jackpot suits,

532
00:20:30,997 --> 00:20:34,133
if my brother can't fly,
I can't fly.

533
00:20:34,166 --> 00:20:35,468
And now look at us.

534
00:20:35,502 --> 00:20:38,405
Two straight-up Norse gods
ready to conquer the sky.

535
00:20:38,438 --> 00:20:41,107
And to think,
I almost gave you a beatdown.

536
00:20:41,140 --> 00:20:42,942
Don't make me laugh, old man.

537
00:20:42,975 --> 00:20:44,444
I would've kicked your ass

538
00:20:44,477 --> 00:20:46,713
-from here to Da-yas,
Fort Worth.

539
00:20:46,746 --> 00:20:48,915
Well, time to fly.

540
00:20:48,948 --> 00:20:50,917
Let's do this.

541
00:20:50,950 --> 00:20:52,985
Uh, what are you doing?

542
00:20:53,019 --> 00:20:55,788
What do you mean? I'm the pilot,
you're the co-pilot.

543
00:20:55,822 --> 00:20:57,824
I don't "co" anything.
I'm the captain.

544
00:20:57,857 --> 00:21:00,293
You are loco in the cabeza
if you think

545
00:21:00,327 --> 00:21:01,528
you're gonna fly this thing.

546
00:21:03,930 --> 00:21:05,898
Out of my way!

547
00:21:05,932 --> 00:21:08,335
-No, get out of my way!
-Get out of my way!

548
00:21:13,039 --> 00:21:14,907
This is so dumb.

549
00:21:24,451 --> 00:21:26,386
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH